The award-winning podcaster and best-selling author speaks candidly about work, family and the joy of slowing down.

16.11.23 | By Bella Westaway | Journal

Jessie Stephens on Insomnia, Overwhelm, and Overcoming “Laziness”

The award-winning podcaster and best-selling author speaks candidly about work, family and the joy of slowing down.

Editor's Note

You might be familiar with our flagship editorial series, The Makers, in which creatives of all types welcome us into the spaces they practice in – and the places they call home. After four years of publishing this series, we’d like to welcome you to a new monthly interview series we’ll be bringing to Bed Threads, titled (we think, aptly!) The Wind Down.

Here, we’ll be speaking candidly with a range of experts and thought-leaders across a range of disciplines on, well, winding down. What self-care looks like, actually. The small, quiet spaces that exist between work and life – like a solo coffee on the way to work – and also, the details of those things, too.

We couldn’t think of a better person to launch this series with than best-selling author, writer and award-winning podcaster, Jessie Stephens, who has generously lifted the veil on how her life actually looks – and more importantly, feels. We hope you love this chat as much as we do.

Thank you for being here,

Genevieve Rosen-Biller, Co-Founder, Bed Threads

J essie Stephens is having a big year.

In 2023, the podcaster, broadcaster and best-selling author got married, bought a home, wrote a novel and had a baby, all while hosting multiple chart-topping podcasts and working as an Executive Editor at Mamamia. Oh, and she’s also a regular host on Channel 10’s The Project.

But working seven days a week took its toll – on both her sleep and her mental health. So, since the birth of her baby girl Luna, Jessie has decided it’s time to wind back, at least for a little while. “I cannot express the relief that brings me,” she says. “I’ve realised that no one else makes you busy. People can ask, and you have the choice to say no. If I’m too busy, that’s my fault, and I need to reassess.”

It’s this candour that makes Jessie so beloved among Australian women. As the millennial voice on Mamamia Outloud – which she’s hosted alongside Mamamia Founder Mia Freedman and Executive Editor Holly Wainwright since 2016 – Jessie brings a genuine openness that feels fresh in the age of 6-second reels and performative vulnerability.

Perhaps it’s the long-form nature of podcasting or just Jessie’s way with words, but she has the unique skill of making people feel seen. She’s a self-confessed “lazy gewl”, who admits to only washing her sheets every fortnight “because my husband makes me”, and fighting her “inner laziness” to succeed at work. She starts her emails with an enthusiastic “Hello!!”, and cites “chocolate every night” as her non-negotiable self-care ritual.

We sat down with Jessie in the Sydney home she shares with husband (and Mamamia Head of Product) Luca Lavigne, four-month-old Luna and their dog, Chilli, to talk about work, wellness and when it’s time to relax.

Bed Threads: Hi Jessie! We’re so excited to have you as our inaugural guest on our new series, The Wind Down. First things first – it’s been a huge year for you! What have been your biggest highs and lows?

Jessie Stephens: You’d think that the BIG things would be the most fun. The wedding and the house and all the incredible career opportunities… all the stuff that looks really glamorous on Instagram, but in fact the highs have been quite invisible. The best parts of this year have undoubtedly been getting to know my baby Luna.

This year I absolutely bit off more than I could chew and the general sense of overwhelm was definitely the biggest low. The slow mornings with Luna, watching her discover the world, smile for the first time, those moments have not just been the greatest highs of this year, but the greatest of my life.

BT: What does self-care look like for you?

JS: The biggest one for me is sleep. I had insomnia during pregnancy and the toll it took was enormous. I’m currently breastfeeding and up at all sorts of hours, but my partner takes over in the mornings and we’ve made sure to prioritise a decent night sleep for each of us.

I also consider reading to be self care. It means switching my mind off from the day-to-day worries and immersing myself in a different world. Going on daily walks with Luna has also been fantastic, and if I really need a reset, then jumping in the ocean makes me feel like a different person.

BT: What is one non-negotiable way you care for yourself each day?

JS: Dessert?? Does that count? Chocolate after dinner every night is a non-negotiable.

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BT: How do you manage to prioritise your sleep routine?

JS: My sleep routine has definitely been all over the place, and in many ways it remains the thing I struggle with most. We make the bed every morning, which sounds like a small thing, but I think it’s important in making you feel like you have your shit together.

I try to stick to a bedtime (which is a bit meaningless when you might be up five times overnight!). I never, ever bring my laptop to bed. I’m conscious of not allowing it to be a space I identify with work. When I can, I try to have a bath and relax. And I try not to look at my phone. I fail constantly. But I at least make sure I’m reading a paperback book with a little book light before I go to sleep to try and allow my mind to turn off.

Getting up to breastfeed has actually been surprisingly nice. I don’t look at my phone because I know that’ll switch my brain back on too much, so we just look at each other and keep the lights dim. For the most part I’ve been able to get back to sleep which is a relief.

BT: What are your top tips for people who have challenges with sleep?

JS: Oh my goodness, I’m looking for them! I will say, I saw a psychiatrist for sleep and he recommended a book called The Effortless Sleep Method. I get myself worked up when I can’t sleep and start trying all these ridiculous exercises that make sleep impossible. The harder I try to get to sleep, the more impossible it is. So it’s the nights I don’t think about it that it happens easily, paradoxically.

BT: You’re often described as an extremely hard worker. How do you decide it's time to put your pen down and relax?

JS: I definitely have to fight the inner laziness… For the last four or so years, there has always been something to do. There’s my day-to-day work, podcasting and writing articles, then there’s freelance stuff, script writing or content creation, then there's broadcasting with The Project or ABC appearances, and even when I’m not doing those things, there’s almost always been a book to write. I have found that to be overwhelming, because when I put my head down on my pillow at night, I had never done enough. I didn’t have a clear benchmark of what success looked like that day.

I’ve made the conscious decision to wind back with Luna in the picture, at least for the next little while. That means I won’t be writing a book or overextending myself at work. I cannot express the relief that brings me.

I’ve realised that no one else makes you busy. People can ask, and you have the choice to say no. If I’m too busy, that’s my fault, and I need to reassess.